An apology, long overdue

I had this classmate in playschool... I don't remember her name or her face, but I remember one of her dresses. It was green and white, with a green cord running running around the waistline. On this cord were strung several large, bright, plastic beads. And she had the habit of sliding those beads from one side of her waist to another, the way one would slide beads on an abacus...

I was fascinated by that dress. And I was jealous, too... none of my dresses had fat, multi-coloured beads on them (now I'm really glad they didn't, but I was three then. I liked neon-bright beads). I loved that dress. I thought of it a lot. I never said anything to anyone about it, but one night, my parents and I were in bed, and I muttered (in my sleep?), "Her parents buy her such pretty things. My parents never get me anything!", that too in an accusatory tone. The moment I realized what I'd said, I promptly burst into tears, had a bout of coughing, and then threw up. My parents were really hurt, and for good reason too. After all, they've been the best parents I could ever hope for.

I still feel terrible when I think of that incident. It's a memory I wish I didn't have. I'm one of those lucky kids who got whatever she asked for. If you ask my folks, they'll tell you I never asked for anything, but that's not the point. The point is, they fulfilled every wish their kid ever had. They were my Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, teachers, friends and 'everyday-heroes', all rolled into one. They still are (not Tooth Fairy, of course..). I'm extremely grateful to Someone up there who let me have such wonderful parents.

I' still feel terrible about what I said that night, seventeen years ago. I wonder if my parents remember it at all... I'd like to say, nevertheless, Amma, Appa, I'm sorry!