I just had a long chat with R, and I was telling her how all nice guys think I’m a guy. “This has been going on for a very long time now, hasn’t it?” she asked. She’s right… This HAS been the case ever since I was in high school. The guys thought I was “just one of them”. They said I was “too cool to be a girl”. Nice…. I liked that. They could share their fart jokes with me, they could come to me with their relationship troubles, they could say pink was disgusting and jewelry was boring and I’d agree with them. But somewhere along the line, they stopped paying attention to me the way they would to a girl. They stopped thinking of me as a girl. Result- no boyfriend.
R says I’m like Kajol in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. She suggested that I try wearing ‘girlie’ clothes… maybe guys would notice. I tried. And I was told by a guy that I had a ridiculously high amount of kajal on. R says I really AM like Kajol in KKHH… I try to dress like a girl and make a fool of myself. I really don’t know how to be a girl.
Anyway, we’ve drawn up a list of do’s and don’ts (mostly the latter), that I’m supposed to follow in order to change my ‘image’.
- Stop wearing my guy friends’ clothes
- Stop lifting weights with them at the gym
- Stop saying stuff like “Ooooh! Look at her look at her look at her… she has nice legs!”
- Stop voicing all my pervert thoughts
- Stop making fart/crap-related jokes
- Stop snorting while laughing
- Laugh softly, do not guffaw
- Think like a girl, act like a girl
- Cross legs demurely while sitting
- Nag. Cry. Blackmail.
There was more, but I won’t be listing EVERYTHING. Anyway, I better get going. It’s time to start working on my Plan. I should get out of these track pants I borrowed from Mr. C…
(And if YOU have any suggestions, please, comment.)
